Katie Killings' Killer Emporium

i feel like, when i look in the mirror, i only see the parts of my face and body i don't like. they get magnified until i can't even recognize what other people say i have. i saw a picture of my eyes a while ago. just my eyes, nothing else. i thought they were a model's eyes. when i realized it was me, i lost that perspective entirely. i don't know what it is about me that taints my own image in my mind. but somewhere in there, i'm the only part of me that's ugly. not the physical form, but the fact that it's mine.

i have no idea why i hate myself so much to get to this point. i feel like my i can't even show my face without either being plastered or stoned or just high of regular drugs. i'm not addicted to anything. but i can't seem to live without believing i'm some sort of monstrosity that shouldn't be outside.

i need a new therapist. and some vape pods. benzos too.

fml