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5 September 2024 17:50![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kt_lavigne06uni has started. sorta.
in terms of fun, things are going good. my dorm is extremely small compared to the newer ones, so i've already met like 90% of the girls on my floor. that has made it extraordinarily easier to get invited to functions inside of the dorm, and hear about the ones outside of it. so i've already been to a party despite not even being there for a single class here.
on that note, i missed my entire first day of classes because i had my days mixed up. it was just the orientation day, and no real lessons were taught, so i didn't really miss anything important. but because i didn't actively choose to do it, i just feel stupid.
i feel like i'm going to miss the second day because of how early the classes start. i haven't had to get up that early in a while, and since then the amount of time it takes for me to get ready only got longer because of how complicated i decided to get with it. on the advice of my mom, i have done a few 'mock days', where i'll get up early and see how long it takes for me to get ready. but i still don't feel ready. but i'm not even sure what ready would look like.
my anxiety is right back to where it was five years ago. and it's getting hard to deal with it. i think i'm more depressed than i have been in a while. but that's not new, or that hard to deal with, it's just annoying. i'm sleeping like twice as much now, and going out is hard once again. but not new. what is new though is a new method of dealing with it. BC drugs! the shit is crazy here, like much crazier than Calgary. i'll just have to get a friend to tell me who they might know who might know a person for it, but that can wait until i run out of what i brought here.
what's also annoying is that my mom has made me promise not to go anywhere alone. it isn't hard, especially since there's practically nothing to do in Victoria. but now i feel even more nervous going to the store alone. or even leaving the dorm. i know it makes me a bit a of a bitch for blaming that on her, but it's true. i get worked up over little things like this. just as it's happened every time before, it will get better. i'll get used to it. and then i can go back to doing emo solitary day trips to random places to smoke or vape or whatever. lol.
in terms of fun, things are going good. my dorm is extremely small compared to the newer ones, so i've already met like 90% of the girls on my floor. that has made it extraordinarily easier to get invited to functions inside of the dorm, and hear about the ones outside of it. so i've already been to a party despite not even being there for a single class here.
on that note, i missed my entire first day of classes because i had my days mixed up. it was just the orientation day, and no real lessons were taught, so i didn't really miss anything important. but because i didn't actively choose to do it, i just feel stupid.
i feel like i'm going to miss the second day because of how early the classes start. i haven't had to get up that early in a while, and since then the amount of time it takes for me to get ready only got longer because of how complicated i decided to get with it. on the advice of my mom, i have done a few 'mock days', where i'll get up early and see how long it takes for me to get ready. but i still don't feel ready. but i'm not even sure what ready would look like.
my anxiety is right back to where it was five years ago. and it's getting hard to deal with it. i think i'm more depressed than i have been in a while. but that's not new, or that hard to deal with, it's just annoying. i'm sleeping like twice as much now, and going out is hard once again. but not new. what is new though is a new method of dealing with it. BC drugs! the shit is crazy here, like much crazier than Calgary. i'll just have to get a friend to tell me who they might know who might know a person for it, but that can wait until i run out of what i brought here.
what's also annoying is that my mom has made me promise not to go anywhere alone. it isn't hard, especially since there's practically nothing to do in Victoria. but now i feel even more nervous going to the store alone. or even leaving the dorm. i know it makes me a bit a of a bitch for blaming that on her, but it's true. i get worked up over little things like this. just as it's happened every time before, it will get better. i'll get used to it. and then i can go back to doing emo solitary day trips to random places to smoke or vape or whatever. lol.
